By D.B. Carlin

Unnecessary Instructions

Fork 1. Grasp in hand. 2. Pierce food with tines. 3. Lift to mouth. 4. Remove food with teeth. 5. Repeat as necessary. Tree 1. Climb. Sock Every sock has a closed end and an open end. Select a sock and locate its open end. Insert foot into the open end until your toes reach …

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X Signs You’re Middle Aged

I. Your favorite outdoor activity is serfing. II. Kids today don’t have slang half as cool as yours (”Feudal, man!” ”Bubonic!”). III. As far as you’re concerned, no other Vowel Shift will be as good as the Great one. IV. All your friends are named either Baker, Chandler, or Smith. V. Istanbul will always be Constantinople …

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