By Gary M. Almeter

Signs That You Might Be Abe Froman

When you go to the grocery store to buy sausage — whether at Dominick’s at West Division Street or the Jewel Food Store on North Pulaski — your face is on most of the labels in the sausage section. After a Chicago Bulls game during 1992’s Eastern Conference finals against the Cleveland Cavaliers, you hung around …

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Rejected Sexy Halloween Costumes

Licentious Witch Woodland Fairy Floozy Wanton Gnome Unchaste Phlebotomist Oversexed Candy Corn Promiscuous Pumpkin Spice Latte Vampy Twister Board Slutty Rubik’s Cube Concupiscent Pippi Longstocking Capricious Congresswoman Lascivious Harry Potter Sensuous Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” Salacious SpongeBob SquarePants Slutty Peyton Manning Mermaid Tramp Car Hop Waitress Hooker Pirate Of Easy Virtue Dental Hygienist Hussy Slutty …

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