By Juliana Gray

Things I Now Regret Throwing out Because They Did Not “Spark Joy”

perfectly serviceable black turtleneck sweater ugly but comfortable Keen walking shoes seashell refrigerator magnet that Greg and I bought on our honeymoon “Liberator” pillow that Greg gave me for our last anniversary half-full bottle of Kahlúa Clozapine Sundays at Moosewood Restaurant cookbook Greg’s hideous Warby Parker glasses Greg’s car keys Greg’s insulin pasta maker

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Lies Volkswagen Told Me

“Clean diesel” is a thing. Oh, wow, we’re really passionate about the environment, too! Your car will get 42 mpg on the highway with low emissions. You look beautiful behind the wheel. You can trust us. We’re just going out with some of our friends from Engineering. And Legal. Why are you so suspicious? We’re …

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