Hamlet’s Twitter Highlights 2015

No job, still living with my mother #thisisthirty

#blackandblue or #whiteandgold, that is the question

@QueenGertrude “Seems gold,” madam! Tis most clearly #blackandblue. I see thy o’erhasty marriage hath not been the only slip of thy senses

@Polonius God’s bodykins, man, it is as #blackandblue as thy dignity — that is to say, brusèd

I put a play upon the stage and practic’d the actors well, but did the audience deign stay til the play was done? They did not. #smh

I did not #trumpmycat, the beast did claw and mew too much. Would I have a photo of infinite jest, had the subject found some merriment in’t

@Ophelia put away thy #powerofmakeup selfie! God has given you one face, yet you make yourself another? Get thee to a nunnery, and be chaste

What madness doth this #llamadrama create

@Guildy doth thou remember that time at uni when thou wert so drunk, thou didst sing hotline bling to @Rosencrantz? Thou wert housed AF

#tbt to when my noble father was yet within this mortal coil, and my shameful mother not stew’d in a corrupted bed

To take arms against an innocent and forbear further suffering, or pity the babe? I would be cruel, only to be kind: baby Hitler must die.

@Polonius art thou on Tinder? Any man there can find embers to stoke, unless they possess a wrinkled face: a face unlike mine, but like yours