1. Take a trip to Alaska.
You thought the main character in Jack London’s “To Build A Fire” was not very bright, certainly not as bright as you.
2. Jump out of an airplane.
You never flip past a Jason Bourne film on the TV. Even the last one, with the guy from The Hurt Locker.
3. Learn to ski.
You have the life ambitions of a minor Kennedy.
4. Sing and dance on Broadway.
You still rue the bad choices Debra Messing’s character made on Smash.
5. Be in the front row of a concert.
You still feel awkward referring to marijuana as “weed.”
6. Feel like I’ve made a difference in the world.
You hit the snooze button four times every morning before you finally get up and eat Pop-Tarts in the car on the way to work.
7. Meet Dick Van Dyke, and let him know what he means to me.
You have written Julie Andrews-themed erotic fan fiction, titled “Strip in Time.”
8. Feed a giraffe.
You were your high school class’s secretary.
9. Climb Mount Everest.
Your mother refused to let you have a Big Wheels when you were a child.
10. Go to the Super Bowl.
Before any of their meets, performances or games, you tell your children, “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts…?” and wait for their response.
11. Chase a tornado.
You’ve kept up on Helen Hunt’s post-Mad About You career.
12. See an eclipse.
You were raised by inattentive parents.
13. Cross the intersection at Abbey Road.
You lost your virginity to “Yesterday,” but you tell people it was to “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”
14. Find a four-leaf clover.
In job interviews, you say your worst trait is being too hard on yourself.
15. See the Great Wall of China.
You know which one is still alive, Buzz Aldrin or Neil Armstrong.
16. Climb the Eiffel Tower.
Your dreams are too small, but they’re better than wanting to feed a giraffe.
17. Cross every item off my Bucket List.
No one thinks that story you tell about how Bobby Orr bought you a drink once is true.
18. Learn to skateboard.
Photos of Courtney Love bring up angry feelings for you.
19. Read War and Peace.
You have seen every episode of The Bachelor, and you have a favorite Bachelor.
20. Establish world peace.
Your dreams are too big, but they’re better than wanting to climb the Eiffel Tower.