Congressman Waiting Patiently by Phone for Even One Call

WASHINGTON — In the wake of recent high-profile incidents of gun violence, Rep. Jim Lyons (D–Illinois) told reporters today that he’s been waiting patiently for even one person to call and ask him to address the problem through legislative means.

“We’re here to work for the People,” said Lyons. “If even one of my constituents would pick up the phone and ask me to do something, we could start taking steps to fix this. But it never happens.”

Lyons believes people desire change, but that the efforts of the electorate are largely misplaced.

“When a tragedy like this occurs, there’s always an outpouring of support and outrage on the Internet, which is all well and good, but I can’t propose bills based on Likes or Retweets,” said Lyons. “If even a small percentage of those posts were direct appeals — phone calls, emails, letters — to me and my fellow members of Congress, we’d be completely inundated. It would send a strong message.”

Instead, Lyons says, without direct pleas from voters he’s left to Like and Retweet with everyone else.

“It’s like, I don’t know how else to feel like I’m making a difference, you know?”


Photo: ooznu