X Signs You’re Middle Aged

I. Your favorite outdoor activity is serfing.

II. Kids today don’t have slang half as cool as yours (”Feudal, man!” ”Bubonic!”).

III. As far as you’re concerned, no other Vowel Shift will be as good as the Great one.

IV. All your friends are named either Baker, Chandler, or Smith.

V. Istanbul will always be Constantinople to you.

VI. You have fond memories of getting drunk with your buddies and smearing your theses on church doors.

VII. You’ve tried to shed extra pounds by following a strict Diet of Worms.

VIII. You could get absolutely everything you needed at Ye Olde Fief & Dime.

IX. You never tire of hearing the knock-knock joke with the punchline “Bayeux Tapestry!”

X. You’ve had the same king since he was seven.